"I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He brought me up out of a horrible pit,
of tumult and of destruction out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock;
steadying my footsteps and establishing my path.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear, with great reverence,
and will trust confidently in the Lord.
Blessed (fortunate, prosperous, and favored by God) is the man,
the woman who makes the Lord his trust, and does not regard
the proud nor those who lapse into lies.
Many, O Lord my God, are your thoughts toward us
and the wonderful works which You have done,
There is none to compare with You.
If I would declare and speak of Your wonders,
They would be too many to count".
(Psalm 40:1-5 Amp.)
THANK YOU TO GOD!
THANK YOU TO DR. RALPH, PASTOR REGINA, PASTOR KOFI,
PROPHET KWAKU, PASTOR REZIAH & PASTOR REGINALD DARTEY
THANK YOU TO MY FAMILY, NUCLEAR & EXTENDED
THANK YOU TO LIEUTENANT-COLONEL BRYAN DAVIDSON
THANK YOU TO THE COMMUNITY OF BELIEVERS
& THE NON-BELIEVERS I MET THROUGHOUT MY LIFE.
YOU MADE ME!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PART IN MY STORY
Why relating, here, a detailed account of a part of my story?
It is to honor God and to thank Him for Who He has been for me and for all He has done for me, till this day; and all He will do.
It is to answer any question about my qualifications for creating such an organization and claiming leadership.
It is to testify that according to my track record, I don't deserve at all to be called to such a thing, not at all!
Since I received the call, I am just taking a step of faith after the other.
The outcomes are in God's hands
If something good comes out of this, it will never be said that it was done by might, nor by power;
All will testify that it was done by the Spirit of the Living God.
I and everyone else will give glory to God and God alone.
God, Often, Must Disqualify Us
From Thinking, We Are Qualified For The Mission He Has For Us.
“Moses Spent his First 40 Years Thinking He Was Somebody.
He Spent His Next 40 years Learning He Was Nobody.
He Spent His Third 40 years Discovering What God Can Do with a Nobody”.
Born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, at the age of thirteen I emigrated to Montreal, with my grandmother, to join the rest of my family. I gave my life to Christ at the age of 15. I was shy and introverted; therefore, to express myself, I used to write poems, draw, play piano, dance class (ballet). At the age of 17, after I read Exodus 31, in the Bible, I prayed to God to grant me the Bezalel’s anointing. Inspired by my mother who used to change the décor of our dwellings often, I then developed a passion to create beauty and atmosphere. I become vibrant, indefatigable when I am creating through interior decorating, floral arrangements, designing, styling… Creativity is a passion, a force, a necessity.
As years went by and road-blockers stood in the way of my dreams, I died inside of me; and as ordained I became and worked as a Registered Nurse, as well as a Nursing Clinical Leader. After my studies in nursing, I completed a certificate in theology; in a seminary in Montreal, affiliated with Acadia University, with the goal to become a long-time missionary-nurse in an eye clinic in Mali. But, before my departure, to overcome timidity, and because I wanted to acquire skills to manage groups in the missionary field, I enrolled in the Communication program and in the Group-Animation program to obtain a certificate in each one.
Unexpectedly, I discovered a passion for the communication field, especially the technical side of it; Video camera, video production, editing… I then decided to postpone my departure to Mali and pursue my studies to obtain, at the minimum, a bachelor’s degree in Social Communications. I excelled in my studies. Being passionate and creative, and discovering those unexpected ways to create and express myself, I became alive again. I became vibrant, happy, joyful, indefatigable…
I was far from knowing that, even before I graduate, my world was going to turn upside down.
One day, as I was waiting for my class to begin; a student that I’ve never seen before, walked up to me and introduced himself. He had a Parisian accent, very well dressed; which distinguished him from all the other students around. He invited me on a date. I’ve been waiting on the Lord for my mate and my belief has always been that, I will meet my husband in God’s intimacy. so, I don’t date. Before I decline; he said: Take my phone number and think about it. I took it, knowing that I will never call him; and I didn't.
Days later, I was at the University decorating, my sister, decorating the auditorium for an event. As I went outside the auditorium; I saw him in the hallway of the University. Oh Nooo! He saw me and walked straight up to me and said that he was expecting my call. Before I say anything, he again asked me to think about it and to call him. At that moment, I should have said: Sorry, I can’t, I have something else that date - which was true (My mom was having a big dinner/feast for the international students of our Church, as well as those who were going to be alone for the holidays. It was her tradition). But, instead of declining right away, I again said, OK.
Before I call to say no, I told my previous Pastor (a great man of God) about the invitation. He enjoined me to go; saying: “You are young, you cannot always be alone” … (If I had my actual spiritual father, Dr. Ralph, back then, through the Spirit of God, he would have detected that guy’s moral ambivalence and “unnervingly genteel” manners, without meeting him and would have told me to not go).
(It is important for me to stop here and say; I chose to share a detailed story, instead of a resume, for a particular purpose. As I did, some details may help recognize some people; but know that I am not writing, in anyhow, to point the finger, to blame or accuse anyone. I am here telling my story; not even to reminisce the past; because Dr. Ralph taught me to live the past in the past and embrace the new of God, I am writing to be a witness of God's Sovereignty, goodness, love, mercy, grace. I writing to testify that if God can take 'a me' and turn her mess into a message, there’s no situation, He cannot turn around, there’s no life that He cannot transform, there’s no pass that He cannot redeem, there’s no life that is a waste to dispose. This writing is to testify that God can take what is despised, even by the least and the youngest, and work through it to confound the wise. If in any section I offend anyone; please receive my deepest apology).
So, I called and accepted the invitation. Since I didn’t know him, I didn’t want to go alone. I accepted his invitation, at the condition my sister and her boyfriend come also. They were added to the guest list. We went to a prestigious banquet at an opulent ambassador’s residency. He was gallant, charming, spoke well. After the banquet, I brought him to my mom’s home at the feast. He charmed everyone; except my 4 years old nephew who, without a word, started to kick him... He detected something that none of us, as adults, did. We ate, danced, then he left. Charmed by his old fashion manners, my family appreciated him.
What I didn’t know is: The woman he was dating before he met me, was the daughter of diplomats. After her parents were transferred to another country, they left her and her sister to complete their degrees at Ottawa U. I’ve discovered, after, that together, they concocted the plan for him to find a person, lie to her, marry her, get her to file the paper for him; then, divorce her, go back to her, marry her and file the paper for her.
As planned, he found me… asked me out and did as they had planned. He went to the point where he introduced me to the sisters; they were part of our circle of friends.
Everything, that worked-together, for me to fall into their trap and find myself married to him. Only hell could have orchestrated them. Nevertheless, they were allowed by God, for purpose. To prove it: Days after our first exchanges, I told him that my plan was to go Mali as a missionary, he told me that being a missionary was his intent, as well. Which I discovered later was a lie. Unfortunately for me, before I met him, while I was studying in theology, a student told me that I will go as a missionary to Benin with my husband. I wrote that prophecy down. Since, he was an international student from Benin, completing his last year to obtain a degree in theology; I felt into the trap.
Before and after our wedding, to execute his well-planned plan, he had to isolate me. For this, unknown to me, he gained access to my family, through someone he met during that feast at my mom’s house. She was my sister’s friend. Because they were from the same country, they connected and exchanged numbers that same night. I discovered, later, that they had an affair. Time after time he kept telling her lies and every time, she called my sister and told her; causing the entire family to turn against me: nuclear and extended. He succeeded at doing the same with my closest friends and some Church members. Rejection after rejection, I was left alone, isolated, no one to turn to and to talk to; except for God and one sister from Church that I met once and told her what I was going through. Her husband being a diplomat, days after we met they were transferred to another country; I then lost those ears.
While succeeding at doing this evil, he used diminished language to put me and my family down. He even told me he will use me until he obtains all that he wanted. I didn’t know what he meant back then. Having no one to turn too, he succeeded at controlling me and at obtaining all he wanted; and this beyond his expectations. He had no work permit; so, while studying full time, I was working as a full-time nurse, nights and weekends, I was well paid; therefore, I was providing everything, even money for him to send back home.
It came to a point where he forbade me to go to Church. Since he turned my support system against me, our circle was reduced to his entourage. Maybe afraid that I will tell one of his friends what I was going through, it came to a point where he forbids me to speak when we meet his friends. And if I ever did, as soon as we were alone, he would yell at me and insult me. When others were around, he was extremely gallant with me; nice and very charming with everyone. No one would have believed me if I had told them who he really was and how he was treating me. Therefore, I endured everything in silence. He used to tell me: I have two names, so I have two different personalities….
(These episodes, as well as others I experienced earlier in my life, shaped me to the point I never look forward to small group meetings, dinner parties around a table, or any one-on-one. Since talking is naturally a challenge for me, and since not talking make me look odd and makes others feel uncomfortable; I just avoid any type of small gathering, one on one meetings, ride with people I hardly know... If I talk, or if I must answer a question, I become so scared that I often go blank and cannot project my voice to be heard. After 2 or 3 sentences I shut down and just listen; as time passes by, I become so tense that, my smile looks more like a grimace; so, most of the time I even avoid to smile. I thank God because there's so much improvement in those regards. I am not scared anymore, I may not yet be able to formulate with ease my thoughts; at least I am not gripped with crippling fear. Thanks to Holy Ghost who has been gentle and patient with me; He helped me overcome timidity, fear, feelings of inadequacy and not belong anywhere).
Now, as I am writing this page, I realized that the devil has been working hard to shut my voice down, to bring shame to me by hindering my speech and utterance; even speaking in English, instead of improving, regressed... The devil is a liar!
As the date was approaching for him to receive his immigration papers, he became more and more confident and arrogant. The occurrence and intensity of the violence increased.
One day, after an episode of verbal abuse and threat; desperate, I went to the Immigration Office. I told the agent at the desk that I wanted to cancel the demand I filed for him to get his papers. Without asking me why? The agent looked at me with disdain and said: You already signed, it’s too late… (which I learned, later, wasn't true). I left devastated and desperate. The agent didn’t perceive the fear, the desperation, nor heard my silent cry for help.
Somehow, he found out that I went to the immigration office; he threatened and hit me. I called 911, then hung up before they answered. They called back; I was scared for him to hear. I said it’s a mistake. Even that, the dispatcher sent two policemen. They knocked on the door; when he realized I called the police he became livid. They separated us and asked each one what was going on; scared, I lied… he lied. From that moment, he knew that I didn’t have the courage to denounce him; so, he became even more arrogant. Anything and nothing became a reason to put me down and maltreat me.
One day, before leaving for work, he attacked me and tear down my uniform. I ran outside. I saw his friend turning the corner of the street, on his way to visit him. Instead of calling the police, I wiped my tears and without telling him what happened, I asked him to go inside and get me a sweater (telling him that I can’t go in, I had to watch for the bus) ... I then went to the clinic; called work to tell them what happened, and that I couldn’t come… I ended up losing that full-time job as a nurse; because it wasn’t the first time. Further down, this led me to a deep financial crisis and debts…
Unfortunate events; but, nevertheless, I thank God, because He will use all this for His Glory.
Since I didn’t know about his evil plan to divorce me and marry his girlfriend, after he gets his papers, I thought I was in this ordeal for life. By God’s grace, one day, my deliverance came through a form I didn’t expect. Even though it created deep wounds and left deep scars; the most important is: I was trapped, and I got delivered. The Lord provided a no-come-back type of deliverance for me; because He knows how loyal I am and how I don’t give up on people. He knows how I deeply believe in redemption, in restoration, in second, third, fourth… chance.
That day, as I cooked and was waiting for us to have dinner together, he came back very late at night. He passed by me without a word... Since I had waited for him to eat, and he disregarded the food, I sat and ate; Previously I went on the rooftop, where I lived; shedding tears telling God, that I cannot take these treatments anymore.. to deliver me... I had no idea He will answer my prayer the same night.
During the night, around 4 AM he got up; as he was looking for something, his movements woke me up. Since I wanted to hear something else from his loaded silence; I reached out for the remote control and opened the TV. He yelled at me to close it. I didn't but proceeded to lower the volume. He went and turned it off with his finger. I was mad; but without a word, I opened it again. And as I was lowering the volume, he jumped, sat on me, placed his knees, on each side of my waist, restraining my movements. Then he proceeded to attack me. With all his strength, he hit me in my head, (left and right temporal) with both fists. I could have yelled to alert the neighbors, not even a sound came out of my mouth. I didn’t; because the attack was so violent and he was so out of control, that he could have covered my mouth to stop me from yelling or strangled me; and I wouldn’t be here to write my testimony of the goodness of God who spared my life. The blows were very painful and it seemed there was no end to the violence. I reached for a pillow and put it over my head. He pulled it off my hands and threw it away; his fury increased. I used my hands to protect the upper part of my brain; so, he hit me both sides of my head, until I lost consciousness... It lasted so long; I believe I received over 20 blows…
After a while, I came back to myself, just long enough to hear him using degrading terms to describe me, my family... Fearing that he will hit me again, I didn’t move; immediately after I blacked out again. The third time I came back it was around 6 Am. He was gone. I tried to get up, but I passed out again. Shortly after, I came back. Then, I realized that all I could see with my left eye was a pitch-black round spot. I then realized that I lost sight in my left eye. I panicked, cried… I managed to get dressed and went to my family doctor. He was an angel, he never sees anyone without an appointment, but God made a way and he received me. After examining me; he called a taxi and sent me right away to a specialist; which after examination, scheduled me for surgery the next day.
I had no choice but to call my family and tell them. When they asked me what happened, I told them that, since we were in the process to move, a box fell and hit my eye. I lied because of shame, but they didn’t believe me; because the woman from Church I told about the violence, had told my family before she went back to her country. My mom and sister drove to my place, my brother who lives in Montreal was on the phone with them taking part in the conversation. The guy who hit me was back. He opened the door; received them with open arms; my sister yelled at him; asking him what he did to me; he said nothing, he lied. When they asked me I lied… but when I saw him flattering my mum; and I know how he usually speaks of her; I exploded and told them what happened. My sister told my brother, who was still on the phone; my brother hung up and called the police. They didn't want to come since he called them from Montreal; he threatened them saying if you don't go; I will take my car, speed on the highway till I get there and as a result instead of one police car arriving at her door, all of you chasing me will arrive there. They said OK OK sir, we will go. They came... he got arrested…
It was an unexpected and wonderful deliverance.
After the loss of my vision, I underwent two different eye surgeries. Even after the second surgery, I didn’t regain the central vision in my left eye. After each surgery, the liquid in the eye’s cavity drained away. For the body to recreate it; the Dr’s order was for me to be bedridden, flat on my stomach, my face supported by a pillow, with a whole in the middle, like a donut; for 20 non-consecutive hours, during a month.
After the first surgery, I followed Dr's order. I spent the time in prayer, praying to be able to totally forgive and let go of this guy from my heart. And, because my mom has a son, and knowing how mothers are attached and build their hope on their sons, for the sake of his mother, I fervently prayed that God won’t retaliate and hit him with any type of judgment. And, that he won’t be sentenced to prison time or deported back to Benin; as the Crown wanted.
Since I was reluctant to testify during his trial, the Crown Attorney relieved me from the trauma of going court and see him again. Because of that, he got away with a year of community work and had to compensate for the loss of my central vision, with an amount of one thousand dollars. When the office of the court of justice called to come and pick up the check they received from him, if I knew what I know today about the spirit realm and wickedness, I would have never accepted that cheque, even less spend it. But I did…
(Once he said to me: I am going to command something from back home to harm you. In April 2019, I realized my error when it was revealed that he was one of those behind the setbacks and frustrations I went through for many years, after).
DIFFERENT LEVEL OF DAMAGES
From the blows, I suffered a ‘traumatic brain injury’, with internal bleeding; it was devastating.
Resulting from the concussion, I experienced dizziness, suffered high sensitivity to light and sun, increase pressure in my eye, severe headaches, altered speech, anomic aphasia, struggled to find the right words for speaking and writing. Whenever I wanted to say a word, another one came out, the same thing in writing.
From that day, my family was physically around, helping me; but they never fully reinstate me. Following the lies of that man, they all felt betrayed.
It was hard because, while that guy kept telling me that, my family hated me, they didn’t want anything to do with me; I kept calling their house every day; to my questions, the answers were one word or two words followed by silence. So, phone conversations were always extremely short. It was painful; because sometimes, the man I married was there and after I hung up, he would mock me and say: You see, I told you; they don’t want anything to do with you.
Their home was a safe place for me, a place where I could escape the intimidation and violence for a couple of hours. But twice during my visit, in reaction to something I say, a member of my family said: We were all better before you arrive... They interpreted and received everything I say and do through the lenses of what that guy's lies. It was as if a knife was thrown and pierced my heart. I silently bleeding and left shortly after. Since I didn’t know that the guy that I married was behind all this, it was painful. After a while, I kept calling but my visits became sporadic; until I stopped. It left me with no one to turn to and nowhere to go.
The day I discovered he was behind all these confusions; a member of the family called me and exploded over the phone telling me all that he was saying, through my sister's friend, a girl from his country he met at my mom's place. I became numb. When she stopped talking, demanding to hear what I had to say, I simply said: Nothing. After asking if she had anything else to say; I said bye and hung up.
I was in the utmost shock. I started to shake; tears were flowing down my cheeks. I was at work, I was alone in the nursing office, I reach out for a bottle of Tylenol extra strength swallowed them and waited for me to collapse. I’ve waited, waited; but, instead, I literally felt a rush of energy. I felt as if power was shooting along my veins; as if I had drunk powerful pills of an energy boost... I was mad, I felt desperate and lost... I cried myself to sleep that day; hoping to never wake up.
After this phone call, I decided that none one deserved the truth from me.
As a result of my decision to stay silent, people keep believing, building upon and spreading those lies. And since I accumulated more failures, more struggles to make it, more shame and more bad reports-gossips-accusations-lies that spread about me, they anchored people in their belief that I am to be avoided. Proof: A couple of years after all the saga, in two different occasions, two new friends, who didn’t know each other, told me: Wow, I didn’t know you were the way you are, I’m glad I didn’t listen to people and I came to talk to you; because, they warned me against you, telling me to be careful of you.
All I can say is Glory to God! I thank Him for these 'warners'. They are one of the instruments God used and is using to mold me to become who He has in mind. Thank you and thank you for all! Whatever everyone and anyone said or are saying, good or bad; whatever anyone did/do, whatever happened are permitted and ordained by God or by my stupidity. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, "everything the enemy intended for evil, the Lord will use it for my good" and for His glory (Genesis 50:20).
Though God is not the author of evil in our world, and though often He does choose to shelter and protect us from the evil attacks of the enemy on our lives, sometimes He takes us straight through dark seasons. And it’s never to leave us there for no purpose. He will always be faithful to bring greater good out of everything and anything.
Thank you, Lord, for those who made, are making and will make themselves available for You to work through them to mold me; so, I can access the realm of GREATER. Greater favor, anointing, glory, blessings, promises, graces…
So, alone, I went through different phases; trying to figure out how to stay afloat. I had to deal with: Guilt, despair, persistent sadness, loss of interest, extreme fatigue, loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, to remember. Whenever I moved my eyes from God and focused them on the circumstances, I went through periods of restlessness, of worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness. My energy level decreased, I slept too much or too little. I flirted with the thoughts of checking out of this life; until the thoughts became attempt. I am so grateful and thank God who prevented me to take my life.
My life was in pieces, I was in pieces. I lost my purpose to live, I lost touch with my dreams and visions. I desperately needed help to help me sort through the broken pieces, but it never came through the form I was expected. And I thank God for that. In the Church I was attended, I’ve been told that, since I am a woman, only a woman can do counseling with me. Unfortunately, back then, there’s was no woman qualified to do counseling there.
My family Doctor, Dr. Lorne Weiner, had referred me to free counseling sessions in a community center; but the oriental approach discouraged me, and I never went back... Dr. Weiner was an angel, after referring me to the specialist; he asked his secretary to book me to see him every week. He wanted to check on me and find out how I was doing. Later, he spaced the appointments; till came the time he judged that I was doing well enough. He was the only person asking me how I was doing. Everyone else was nice but avoided to ask. Even if those appointments lasted 5 to 10 minutes; I was grateful for them. Every week I looked forward to them. I thank God for his life. May the Lord bless him, his family, his children all generations down.
One day, the detective assigned to investigate the case of domestic violence, called my mom and told her to tell her to always look over my shoulder when I am walking. I was so emotionally drained that, it never dawned on me to call the detective to find out what was the threat. The level of fear I was already dealing with, increased. From that moment, I was in a constant ready to flight mode. Consequently, I withdraw even more; limiting my coming and going.
Following those traumata, a simple sentence like, I’m going to slap you; said as a joke to someone else, used to trigger deep fear in me.
THE SHADOW OF MYSELF
From being a shy, but intelligent, gifted, creative and passionate woman, who deeply loves God and people; I withdrew. I secluded myself. I had no more realistic goal for my own life; except to find the ‘Dome’ and the leader who will build it. – (This is a supernatural and an awesome chapter in my life, that I won’t relate here. The only thing I’ll say is: Years later, when in 2011, the Lord revealed to me that TLC was it, that it was the dome and Dr. Ralph the leader who will build it, I was beside myself; I was so relieved that I said to myself: I can die now. I only lived to see it. I had no other goal, no other pursuit. The Lord had to give me another one. Thanks to Him, He did).
One evening, as I was walking on Rideau street, I heard from the back: Hi Marie! I recognized the voice of the one I was married to... Internal panic; too late to run. Without stopping, he walked by me and said with arrogance: I am working for the Government at Stat Can, and he walked away… When maybe in his mind, he thought by telling me that, he was throwing salt on the wounds; for me, it was happy news; because my prayer for him was answered.
Another time I saw him on the bus-stop with that girlfriend, who became his wife. They had a little boy. We just exchange a Hi. The woman was extremely embarrassed. It could have been painful because I had no child, but it wasn't; I was happy for them. When I sat on the bus, I prayed to God, so the little boy won’t suffer, in any stage of his life, the consequences of what his parents did. I pray that they will both give their life to Christ and experiment the beauty of his forgiveness, love, and mercy…
STUDIES & WORK / SUPERNATURAL OPEN DOORS
After the second surgery, done because I didn’t regain my central vision, I figured out that my whole body didn’t have to be in that horizontal position, only my head; so, eager to pursue and finish my studies, I used the 4 hours I was allowed to have my head up, to travel and go to my classes. In class, I kept my head down, laid on the pulpit. This way, I was able to hear what my teachers were saying and write them in my notebook placed on my lap. My teachers were very supportive; instead of writing my tests and exams, they accommodated me with oral ones. All these dramas happened when I was in my first year in the communication program. By the grace of God, I managed, to pursue my studies and obtain my degree with high honor (magna cum laude).
I thank God; because, except for the nursing jobs; in this journey, every job I had was offered to me without me applying for them. Through an event that only heaven could have orchestrated, despite the great challenges I was facing with my speech; I became a News-Reporter at the radio of Radio Canada (French CBC). How I got the journalist position that I occupied at Radio-Canada was a divine set up.
I had a meeting with my public speaking teacher, a journalist at CBC; as we were speaking, she received a call to attend an urgent press conference, in an institution, in Hull. For this, she had to rush to CBC to get their official van, as well as the folder containing all the info about the Press Conference. She asked me if I wanted to go with her, I acquiesced. As she was driving, I took the folder and read all it was about. We got delayed on the road and when we arrived, the press conference was over. Every other journalist rushed back to their base to get the news ready for noon.
After my teacher introduced herself and me, the director of the institution agreed for a private interview. The accusation against them was very serious and they were trying to cover up. The director repeated the same speech they had prepared for the media. Before bringing the interview to an end, my teacher turned to me and said: Do you have a question?
Since God had granted me, what I call a lawyer mind. I remembered all the ambiguities I discovered when I read the folder’s content; therefore, after pointing them all to the director, I formulated my question in a way that cornered him; when he answered, he incriminated the institution… (Because of that, later, the court case went in favor of the plaintiff). When every other TV and radio station went on air with the institution’s prepared answers. Radio Canada had a scoop…
The director of the newsroom was so impressed that, he asked my teacher how she got that scoop. She simply answered: It wasn’t me; it was my student. He then asked me to meet me. At the end of that meeting, he offered me a position in the newsroom, as a journalist. I started the next day. The first news I covered was an event with Mayor Bob Chiarelli.
It was a great journalism adventure. Since my passion was the technical side, it allowed me to explore another aspect of the communication field.
Then, without applying for it, I was offered a position as a Press Photographer; so, I covered the news in the Eastern region of Ontario.
Then again, because of divine providence, I was offered a job that I never applied for, as a French Reporter-Redactor at the DNC (Department of the National Defense). When I met the head of the department for the interview, she said, I found your CV on my desk, and I don’t know how it ends up there. Apart from bringing a CV to 66 Slater, I never applied for that position, and I never give my CV to anyone to give for me; so, I had no clue how my CV ended on her desk. ‘Divine hands’ is the only answer I can find. I enjoyed the interviews, travels, and privileges.
Favor with Parliament members
As a press photographer, paired with another journalist, we did an insert of several pages for a newspaper to mark the 25 years of the political life of one of the Member of Parliament Impressed by my work, he asked me for my CV. Before I brought it to him; somehow he found it; and sent a copy to every other Minister, asking them to hire me, if they had an opening. I had no clue he had done that; until I started to receive letters from different Minister; one even called me personally to offer me to become his personal assistant. I was led to not accept the offer.
Even when I went back to nursing, after I applied and was hired as a full-time evening float nurse, two managers did everything to have me on their floor. One went to the extent to open an evening position, give it to a nurse who was qualified for the full-time day position, because of seniority; in order to give me that day position. She even allowed me to work every Saturday in order to have all my Sundays off, so I won't miss Church. It was my condition to accept the offer and she agreed. This after only one year. When others with over 10-20 years of seniority where still have to work days then evening or nights. I was so grateful to God.
It was a season of 'open doors' for me. As I kept receiving favor after favor in the work field; there was also open heaven related to my studies.
My team and I won a national award for a documentary we produced. The most surprising about our documentary; was in French and the contest was in English and based in Toronto. Instead of disqualifying us because we refused to do a voice-over; impressed by the images, they hired an interpreter to find out what it was about. We ended winning the contest, and it was aired more than once on TV; which was one of the prizes. I thank God because it was a beautiful adventure.
Theories of Communication
The director of Communication, at Ottawa U, impressed by a paper I produced, invited me to go to his class and teach the communication theories that I had developed for my Theory of Communication class. When he introduced me to the amphitheater full of students, he told them that my theory should be added to the communication books.
I remember the first time I presented my theory to my class after my presentation everyone was speechless, even my teacher; who seemed to take pleasure to argue and dismantle everybody else’s theory.
(I have a big testimony related to this theory and how the Lord gave me the grace to lead that teacher to Christ; as well as my Public Speaking teacher).
Another time, after I debated a case and wrote a paper about it; another teacher seeing a potential lawyer in me, exclaimed: I would never want to have a court case against you!
Allow me to relate a long story that will confirm what my teacher saw.
I have received from God a certain measure of grace to go to the bottom of things. I hate oppression and injustice. I don’t let go of a case that I decide to embrace; I see myself as a type of Erin Brockovich, once my hands are on something, I don’t back up and the opponent has no chance to ‘get away with murder’. If ever I decide to stand for something, I never let go; and this, until justice is done.
This grace was handy when my sister was faced with calls and threats over the phone. The night before the calls started, I had a dream where I heard the first two sentences the caller said to my sister, I saw that he was driving a red car, as well as how he planned to arm my sister. When I woke up, I told her and my mum about the dream. So, when at night, she received a call from a number she didn't recognize, she answered. The man who called told her the exact two sentences I heard in the dream. Because of the dream, the whole family was on alert mode. I asked my sister, if he calls again, to take note of everything he says as well as the numbers. The next day he called again at night, but from a different number. He called almost every night from a different number; he had a Parisian accent. One day, I asked my sister to tell him that her sister wanted to talk to him; I smooth-talked him; until he revealed to me that, he had a red car. This confirmed to me that the third part of my dream where he will do wrong to my sister was also true.
So far, he spoke to my sister as someone who was flirting with her; but because of the dream, we knew he had an evil motive. A few days later, the conversation took another tangent, he told my sister that he followed her car during the day, he described to her what she did, told her what she wore the day before… She warned her, then told her he will come to Church for the Christmas play; and it will not be the first time he followed her there.
We, then, realized this was very serious and dangerous. I knew that if we rely on the police alone to find that person, it could take too long; and it could be too late for my sister. I decided that there’s no way we were going to miss Church for that bozo. I examined everything; the dream, all he said to my sister, to me, the phone numbers, I investigated the possibility that the person was maybe one of my sister’s ex-husband's friends. But none of his friends had this type of accent.
So, I took the phone book and methodically researched and went through the numbers to find out which area other people with similar first 3 digits were located. I discovered that one of the numbers he called from, many people living in the west end, near Woodroffe, their home phone started with the same 3 digits.
My sister then remembered that one day she and her ex-husband dropped his friend at a gas station, near Algonquin College, where he said he was working. We drove there, I wanted to discover if their number was used to make one of the phone calls. When the cashier gave us the number, we were disappointed to realize that it wasn’t part of the list. But the first 3 digits of the number he gave us were the same as one number on the list. Because of that, we knew we were close to the area where the calls came from.
As we were about to leave, I noticed a phone booth outside the station; when I checked the number, EUREKA, the first 3 digits matched most of the other numbers on the list; telling us that, most of the calls came from Bell pay-phone booths.
Since Algonquin and all the stores around were closed and since my sister was studying at Algonquin, I instructed her to check all the phone booths at Algonquin College, tomorrow after her last exam. And if they didn’t match the list, to check all those at the shopping center close by. She did. And all excited, she called me saying that she discovered one match at Algonquin College. I was relieved. I asked her to check the other ones. Except for 2 numbers, she found all the booths where the calls came from. We then deducted that, due to the time of the calls, the person must be a night employee at Algonquin.
So, I devised a plan with my family. With all the evidence accumulated, we contacted the night security guard. After explaining the situation, we told him to be on alert; we will call him as soon as the guy calls, so he can arrest him. As planned, he called, my sister was instructed to talk to him long enough to give time for the security guard to locate him. I asked my mum to call the security guard. He checked all the phone booths through the surveillance camera. No one was using them, but the guy was still on the phone. The security guard told us that there’s nothing else he can do.
(There was no way I was going to let go; we were too close to solve that mystery and get that guy locked up).
I took the phone and told the security guard that, we were coming on-site to identify the guy. (I had enough evidence to do so) . I asked him to indicate, which entrance we should use...
I hung up; went to the room where my sister was, took the phone from her, and told the guy: you said you will see my sister at the Christmas play; but guess what, you will see us earlier than that. He exclaimed: Oh! What are you saying? What do you mean? I answered: You’ll see! I hanged up and told my mum and sister to dress the baby because we were going to Algonquin to identify the guy. My sister starts to laugh saying: You are crazy! I replied: Yes, I am! This stupidity will stop tonight, this guy will be arrested tonight; let’s go!
When we arrived, the security person was waiting for us; he said the only employees on site are the cleaning crew and their supervisor. I asked to see the supervisor. The guy had told my sister his surname; so, when the supervisor came, the security guard explained to him the situation; then, I asked him if he had someone going by that name in his team. He said yes: "Two people, a white guy, and a black guy". I said the guy on the phone sounded like a black guy. The security guard paged him and asked him to come to the security office.
When he saw us, his expression was of choc, followed by a panic moment; he was tall, well built, handsome, he looked like a model Neither I nor my sister ever saw him before. The security guard asked him if he knows us. He said no. When we heard his voice and accent, my sister and I exclaimed: It’s Him! He replied: I don’t know them; I don’t know what they are talking about. The security guard explained the accusation against him. Since he kept denying, Holy Spirit inspired me to ask the supervisor if the friend my sister’s and her ex-husband dropped at the gas station was also working there; when we told him the name, he said yes and called him. Before he arrived, the security guard locked the other guy in a room. When the friend came, he was surprised to see us. They asked him if he knows us, he said yes. Then they asked him if the other guy knows us, he said yes. Without anyone telling him what the other guy was accused of, he confessed that my sister’s ex-husband had asked him to find a guy to stalk my sister and terrorize her. He also confessed that he knew about the phone calls… etc. etc.
We felt so relieved. The security guard called the police, the guy was arrested; the friend was fired, the one calling was trialed and deported back to where he came from. Months later, my sister’s ex-husband was murdered, in Toronto.
BUSINESS ENDEAVORS / CLOSED HEAVEN
When I was 15 years old sitting in the back of the car my mum was driving on Sherbrook Street, in Montreal. While everybody else was talking laughing, I was silent, was looking through the window, thinking about my future. As my mum drove by a highrise I looked up and I said to myself. one day, I will have my office on the last floor of a high rise; and the building will be mine. I never forget that moment and the exact spot. (Since childhood, something in me always aims for higher and greater. Even when I am buying my clothes in thrift stores, the Lord gave me an eye to find the best pieces; except for very few items acquired on sale in other stores, for at least the last 20 years, all my wearings come from there; and if I don't tell you, you may think that I am spending hundreds and thousand when in fact most of the things I wear are less than 20$. I bless God for those ministries and those who give to them. I consider the thrift store ministries. I buy, pray the blood of Jesus over it; wash it and wear it).
The seed that I will be a businesswoman was deposited in me that day on Sherbrooke Street when I was 15 years old. So whatever I did, whatever happened later in my life; whatever detour I was forced to take, whatever blows life served me, I always knew that I will end up being a powerful, successful businesswoman. This conviction intensified with different dreams that I had over the years, showing me the areas my wealth will come I also received, over the years, the download of many creative business ideas that I wrote down and others that I didn't write down and forget. What topped it all is a specific prophecy I received concerning the extent of the wealth the Lord will entrust to me for the work of his kingdom. Another prophecy and one specific vision also showed me the impact I will have on the mountain of finance. So years after years, no matter what was going on in my life; I kept praying God to grant me the Joseph anointing, so I can be a blessing to my family, my Church, my City, my Nation, and the rest of the world. Because of tired of the burden put on nations, my ambition has always been to be able to pay any national debt without to put a burden on the nation to pay me back; and this with no string attached. God called us to liberty, not to be anybody's slave or puppet and this includes nations. #BigdreamBigGod #BigGodUnlimitedDream. - I dream it, I see it; I will see what I saw -. (I learned this from my spiritual father Dr. Ralph. He is a man of unlimited blind-faith trusting an Unlimited God, and He is producing sons and daughters after his own kind).
Even if I am the one who was trusted by heaven with all these ideas; throughout the years, I kept looking for someone to associate with me for me to launch even one of them. I kept working on the idea, create the business plans, the websites, the materials needed; then I got stuck because I was afraid and had zero confidence in me for such adventure. I enterprise ideas have hobbies; but when it came to the business side I always shy away and backed up; waiting, searching for someone to be the forefront.
Over the years, the devil through people, pounded on me to remove all self-confidence, all belief, and trust in me, to doubt the deposit of God in me, my capacities... As a result, sadly and unfortunately, over the years, I persuaded myself that I didn't have what it takes to be the face of my ideas. I needed someone to stand with me, and I will be behind that person. I saw myself as giving the ideas, working hard in the background, pushing them further; but someone else was going to be the person others will speak to and deal with; concerning what we produced.
So, for years, in vain, I looked for someone to be at the forefront of my business ideas. Because of that ingrained belief and fear to put myself out there; every time I meet a new person, I always listen attentively to everything he/she says and does. And when I realized that someone could be the one I was looking for; I tell him/her about one or two or my ideas to see if he/she could catch one of the visions and join me…The Lord never allowed it.
As much as I used to feel the urge to hide, to sit in the back rows, or to look for the empty chair closed to the wall, or to work my projects in a place and a time where too many people can see me; the Lord, Him, was working on me to bring me into the spotlight, in the forefront…
A trial for me
To get me there, one of the simple, but for me, the greatest trials He put me through, was the day Holy Ghost got me to sit in the second row at TLC. I obeyed, but I looked back many times to see where I can go in the back to sit. I asked Him, more than once, if I can move back; the answer was no. The days, weeks after, no matter what I say, He wanted me to keep going and sit there. It took me long to realize what He was doing.
It was a great battle; and it became even greater when I became the target of a woman, then a man. The woman declared that it was a VIP row and I didn’t belong there. After the woman, a man who for the longest was sitting in the back came and said: Why do you seat there, you know it’s my place. When I am here you can’t sit there. I understood that it wasn’t about a seat; because, the night before he told me that; I had a dream where I saw him leaving the back and come in the second row to confront me for the seat. So, since, in the spirit realm, I had spotted the spirit animating him; I didn’t answer him and walked away.
By that time, I had stopped asking Holy Ghost, if I can seat somewhere else, I understood that the battle wasn’t over a seat; but beyond that. I left the first seat for him and sat in the second chair, right beside him. One day, as we were both praising, he was clapping his hands, his right elbow was swinging in my direction; so naturally, his elbow and my arm bumped into each other. Because I knew the goal he was pursuing, I didn’t move. He stopped, tapped me on my shoulder; I turned to him, and he showed me an empty seat further down and asked me to move away. I moved a bit and reduced the amplitude of my movements making sure, during the whole service, my body won’t touch him. From that day, the next service, he sat somewhere else; and never came in that row. And je m'en fiche! I learned to focus on God, on what God is saying and not anymore on people.
So, I believe God used this simple test to teach me to get used to the front. It is an exploit for me and a great victory to sit in the front and not having the urge to run and hide in the back anymore. It helped me gain confidence in me and to not bother anymore with what people say or report about me. It seemed to be nothing; but for me, it’s huge. That simple trial (for me it was) has given me the courage to face what I couldn’t face before in my personal life; and I am sure in the business world, the day I will again launch myself in that area.
Resistance and closed heaven
Allow me to digress a bit.
As I said earlier, I worked on great business ideas, did the business plan, etc.; but I was scared to start any of them alone. The more Holy Ghost was pushing me in that direction - the more I was scared and resisted Him - the more I did, the more heaven was closing over me. And from walking from open door to open door; doors after doors started to close before me or to slam on my face. Because of all the projects I wanted to accomplish and I wrote down, because of my desire to become a financial pillar and because of all the business ideas I received; I knew that I had to do something drastic because the salary of a nurse will never allow me to accomplish all that. One day I felt compelled to resign my last full-time day position as a nurse and to launch into the business world. I did, then accepted a part-time job with the City as a Registered nurse; and kept exploring the business world, by joining others in their ideas; until one day, I felt led to definitely leave nursing. I did. And still instead of working on and launch my own business, I kept joining others in their's The more I did, instead of starting my own, the more heaven seemed to resist me. The more heaven resisted me; the more I attempted to go back to work; the more I tried and applied; heaven closed all doors; all attempt was every time frustrated; the few I started ended the same day, or a few days after I started.
As much as all doors were open for me before; it seemed that I had entered a long season of closed doors and frustration coming from every corner.
After a very long time of resistance, I let myself be persuaded and started my own business. But the fear I had to start a business on my own confirmed after I accepted to work for someone on a big project; my due was supposed to be many thousands of dollars. Faithful to my distorted belief, I accepted to do the job and worked on untiringly mostly overnight and during the days, sometimes 24 hours non-stop, as the deadline was approaching. Throughout, while working on the project, I trusted and let someone else discuss the term of the contract as well as my wages with the owner. I worked for 5 months; because of the deadline the envergure of the project, I worked every day sometimes overnight ...
Back then, I had a hard time understanding and didn’t know how to deal with self-centeredness and wickedness in the business world; even less how to beat them at their game. So, what I feared happened. I encountered dishonest, self-centered, pride people; full of lies, lying to take the credit of my hard work, animated by pure greed, pursuing their own interests; not considering mine at all... As a result, as if everything I went through prior to this wasn’t enough, I literally lost everything and ended up as a homeless. And since I had no one to stand for me, but they were a tribe and they had support and back up; my voice was suppressed. By the end, since they were people I grew up with and respected; I chose to not bring them to court to receive the thousands due to me. I then went deeper into debt and discouragement.
Totally gave up
No job, I started to live on the minimal support system: Welfare, small loans, shelter, group-home, food banks, vouchers, donations… I got deeper into debt and deeper in the pit. The occurrence, the intensity, and the impact of other types of blows added to everything I went through before, made every day a fight to make it to the next. After a while, I reached rock bottom, I totally gave up on myself and I started to really look like what was going in my life.
I thank God, because, as things were piling up; pushing me to the edge of the cliff of life; suicidal thoughts were not part of my thinking system anymore; and this, thanks to revelations received from the teachings at TLC.
Following and during those unfortunate turmoils, my biggest question was why? Why? Why? This, until I got the revelation of the bigger picture and plan of God's plan. Until I understood that these negatives things, as well as the good ones, were ordained and permitted by God to build me.
The proof of it is, throughout the painful and shameful (full of shame) process, Holy Spirit kept telling me through Jeremiah 12:5 (AMP): “If you have raced with men on foot and they have tired you out, then how can you compete with horses? If you fall in a land of peace [where you feel secure], then how will you do [among the lions] in the [flooded] thicket beside the Jordan”?
As the Greatest Teacher Holy Spirit Kept bringing back to me that Scripture until, one day, I understood that the problem is not what is happening; but my response is.
He did a deep work in me until I realized, that those things will keep happening if I don’t change my response. Until I understood, and fully integrated, from the teachings of Dr. Ralph that, I too deserve a part of the cake of life; Jesus was died for I too to taste and enjoy abundant life. Until I understood that I too can and should create my future with the declarations from my mouth; followed by tangible actions. Until I understood that I had to rediscover me (the me that God knows and sent on earth for a purpose), I had to redefine me, redesign my life and go for what the Lord is showing to me, and for what I wanted; and this without fear and apology; by God grace.
After the surgeries, along the way, the Lord honored a Word given to me years ago; that, He will send women to me. They will come and be there for me.
As He declared, it kept happening. One after the other, the Lord sent them. He sent those precious ones for specific assignments: Each one of them, helped me to make it to the next point, to the next day, the next month. The most outstanding one being Mrs. Manon Raiche who went even beyond denying herself to help me make it through.
God also sent great men to help me, the most outstanding being Dr. Ralph Dartey who, passionate by his mandate to transform lives and raise leaders, through his preaching, teachings, leadership classes/summit and mentorship poured into my life, during the past 8 years. He challenged all my thinking, my belief system, my approach of things, he helped to be delivered of the fear who used to grip me... Through the reading of the Word of God and through him, Holy Spirit brought to light everything in my life that has to realign with God's ways, He is the leader God needed to help Him make me, to help him build to increase my capacity, change my thinking, enlarge me to receive the mandate and purpose God had for me.
LAND OF EXPLOITS
It takes daily supernatural pull and push, faith, courage, the hope of a better tomorrow, dreams that don't want to die to keep showing up in places where everything about you displays bankruptcy, stagnation…
Only God knew what it took me every day to get up and face another day, another month, another year.
One day, the Lord spoke to me through a Scripture in the Bible: “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded; when Asa heard these Words, He took courage” (2 Chronicles 15:7-8).
Every time, thereafter, I read these words, I took courage.
It’s been an extremely long and trying road to significant recovery. For the longest, I kept looking at and waiting on people to help me sort through things; but the most important thing I needed to-make-it was God Himself, a spiritual covering, teachings, and revelations. When God brought me to meet Dr. Ralph, then brought me to TLC, He provided all of them and so much more.
(If you are comfortable in the same old, in mediocrity, in average, in plafond, in being the king of your village, the best of the 'Lo-debar'; if you are easily offended, you have your opinion and it's your way or the highway; if you are full of yourself and looking for worshipers and followers and want everything you say to receive the highest approval rate and be implemented; if you think you can pull any cord for everyone to bow to you, if you are arrogant, not ready for submission, for trust and to go through any type of process long-or short the Lord will put you through; if... if... or if... you need some heart-check attitude-check and some adjustments to beneficiate of the covering, of all the grace and anointing in TLC; because it is the land where people are being transformed and leaders are raised. To be transformed require to be band-able, teachable, submissive, willing, humble, non-judgmental... above all trust God with the process; and this, no matter the type of trials and tests; and no matter whom He works through to inflict them to you. If God likes your actual form, you are good; nothing to worry, you won't go through anything. But if He doesn't and wants to enlarge you, and increase your capacity for a greater purpose, you will have to be transformed: Go from a form to another; so He can use you more effectively. I discovered that the secret is to stay put, and this, no matter what; to keep showing up, no matter, what; to allow the process to take place, no matter what. Otherwise, if you remove yourself because of offense, impatience or other reasons; you are to blame; not the instruments the Lord was using to make you, into what He sees of you).
In the state I was, being at TLC was a challenge. When you are in an environment surrounded by people who came like you in need to be transformed and be mentored to become great leaders; and as you watched and hear them;in an acceptable laps of time they went from one form to another, and they actually became mighty leaders, celebrated champions, successful, doing exploits on a daily basis and are testifying of their achievements, their continuous advancements, and their increased prosperity; AND YOU, you are still struggling to break through, you are going from what seemed to be failure to failure, and your exploits, victories, and transformation are either internal, or happened in private setting or are too insignificant to be seen or publicized; it can be a great challenge!!!!
The grace I received is a heart to really rejoice, to really be happy, to be proud and to sincerely celebrate those succeeding in their personal life, their career, business, their ministry, and doing exploits.
Through it all, Holy Spirit taught me to pray Psalm 4:7 “Lord, fill my heart with joy; when their grain and new wine abound”. When the going got tough, I prayed it, until inner joy filled my heart; until I was able to thank God for what I have and for what I don’t have and all that is to come.
THROUGH IT ALL
By God’s grace, through it all, I had faith and a witness in my spirit that, one day the Lord will change my story; that He will do with me what “eye has not seen, nor ear heard”; because like Dr. Myles Monroe said: “Everything God created, He built success into it; our success is necessary for God to protect His name”.
On the contrary of God, the devil's plan is to steal, destroy, hide what is rightfully mine, to frustrate God’s plan for my life or to kill my dreams, projects or even me, if he could; but to thank God He can’t. Whatever he did to frustrate my life, he only did what God or I, permitted him. As he acted, he didn’t know that the Lord, through it all, would help me and keep me. He didn’t know that I will survive and emerge as a history maker. He didn’t know that the Lord would take the very things he has thrown at me and use them to train me, strengthen me, build me a backbone… and prepare me for all HE had planned for me.
FINALLY WOKE UP
I thank the Lord who bit by bit, restored me and got me out of the pit of scarceness, worriedness, discouragement, of giving up on myself...
One day, after the first shofar service at TLC, the light came; and I became desperate for God to help me renew my mind. Playing a recording of the shofar every day, I desperately cried out to Him. I wanted, deep and total transformation at every level; inside and outside - a total makeover.
The Lord heard my cry, two weeks later, I felt a type of weight lifted off me. I also felt, as if, scales fell off my eyes. It was as if I woke up from a very long sleep.
I started to see what others were seeing, were avoiding, were running from and not telling me. I fully realized my condition, how low I went down, into the pit of discouragement. I never really understood how I was kept there for so long, unable to get out, and this, no matter what I did.
During all those years, I never thought that something was holding me back, blinding me, pushing me backward every time I did a step forward. (Today I do; thanks to God who spoke through His Prophets, revealing those at the origin of the frustration I went through in every area of my life).
Up to today, as a health professional who met and even intervene or advised other women, who were going through typical ordeals, I cannot understand, how, I was unable to remember those resources and advises, and apply them to myself. I'll never understand how come it took me so long to internalize that, I too deserve everything everyone else is enjoying. Even if years after years I kept speaking big things over my life; I never really go for them. Until God, until I received a disguised blessing, in the form of a rebuke, that shifted everything.
THE REBUKE - THE SHIFT
A real shift occurred the day I received a rebuke from someone asking me to stop busybody myself in people’s affairs; and this after a positive comment, which was a compliment I made about someone. Instead of being offended, I knew that I shouldn’t take the message at face value. So, I stayed in prayer, until Holy Spirit revealed to me the deeper meaning of that message. Which was: Shift your focus on yourself, focus on you, discover you, listen to God for you, design, plan your tomorrow for you. You keep living for others, think about others, help others, pray for others, cheer others… neglecting yourself, negating your needs, boycotting yourself, not fighting for yourself…
The light came to me and something shifted in my spirit; it woke me up to myself. Because, until then, I didn’t exist for myself, my needs anything about me was the last of my preoccupation. I never thought I deserve anything. I don’t remember where I ever existed in my eyes and my needs were a priority. Never! I lived focused on God’s, my family’s and others’ needs. All the time I was thinking about someone, noticing things others don’t, thinking about how to help, how to pray them through; praying with them.
This rebuke helped me to go on a journey to free my mind, to focus on what God is saying to me about me as His daughter and on what I really want for my life. As I did, I was able to hear God for myself, I was able to focus on me, to discover the deep true me and to work on the changes I needed to make in my life.
MOST SIGNIFICANT PIVOTAL MOMENT
The other thing that changed everything, is Dr. Ralph Dartey’s message about avoiding negativity, forgetting about the past in order to embrace the new of God. This was the most significant pivotal moment that freed me from my past and helped me put down the heavy luggage I carried, years after years. WOW! WOW! WOW! No more looking for help to unload and go through things to help me move further. One revelation and I was free, I am free; totally free. Up to that day, I really never experienced what being and feeling light was. I was always heavy, most of the time tense and fearful. The Lord had delivered me of the crippling fear, first; then, the heaviness and I know one day, I will never feel tense, when I am in one-on-one meetings or small groups, and I have to speak.
I thank God; because through it all, He never gave up on me. Through it all, covered by the blood of Jesus, Holy Spirit kept encouraging me, speaking to me; through the meditation of the Word, through every preaching, teaching and the books of Dr. Ralph; through the leaders, the guest speakers, as well as through dreams/visions and direct words from God. I am deeply grateful!
Before I got married, and even after, at a small scale, I was a natural leader with people naturally joining me in my Hobbies, like decorating, other projects, or in any of my short mission or evangelism trips...
Either I was loved or hated for it, I used to challenge those around me, pushing them to higher and greater; pushing them to think bigger, to never tackle something at their proportion; but to aim for something greater than their resources or greater than their own capacity.
Later, this discourse became a paradox in my life; because came a time where I got stuck in a lower than average zone; lacking the strength to push through and reach the highest pinnacle beyond possible.
Since young, something in me always pushed me to think big; secretly I wanted to become a pilot or be the head of an empire with my office on the last floor of my own high rise (a Penthouse). Up to today, I feel this will happen one day.
After I’ve been de-routed from going to the mission field as a missionary, I had one goal, finding the ‘dome’. In that period, I developed a deeper than deep love, a deep burden for my country: Canada. So, I started to pray for national revival, pray for the glory of God to invade my nation, pray God to make me the Joseph of my family / my Church / my City / my nation, pray for the realization of all the dreams and visions I saw over the years concerning Ottawa and Canada… I became obsessed with the well being of Canada, and almost every day, I was in travail for it.
It is interesting that today the Lord is calling me to create a Political Party. When I was encouraging my friends to reach higher and greater; I didn’t know that the Lord was going to call me to a project that was definitely higher and greater than anything I can do; something beyond me, something I have no qualifications; something that everything about my present and my past disqualifies me for.
Since Dr. Ralph said that the Lord qualifies the unqualified; I trust that He will do it.
Dr. Dartey said: THE LORD NEVER USES AN UNBROKEN VESSEL.
To get me to the point where I can eve accept his call to this project and found the courage to tell my spiritual father, the Lord had to take me through a series of brokenness. Patiently, he broke every resistance and win every argument I presented to Him.
I still remember Sunday, October 14th, 2018, after the morning services, like I usually do when we have conferences, I stayed to clean and prepare myself in prayer for the evening service. That day, Holy Spirit told me it will come a time where I will be on every stage. I fell on my knees, tears flowing down my cheeks. This was scary. The more I thought about it, the more I cried profusely. All I wanted was, to be in hiding, have a prosperous business and become a financial pillar to help push the vision forward.
As I was on the floor crying, the Lord re-aligning my thinking with His, remembering me of the prophecies, the declarations, the promises; of my own declarations, of the years I kept prayed Him asking Him to use me, to make my life count…
I cried until I surrendered. I wiped my tears and said: OK Lord. I don’t feel protected, because I don’t have a husband, but I know if you are telling me this, it is because you will strengthen me and give me the courage to face all that is to come; You are able to protect me.
Since that day the I acquiesced for Him to do through me and with me whatever He wanted. Exactly 10 days later, on October 24th, 2018, while sitting on the bus 111, He downloaded in my spirit the project of Shakers and Builders. If that Sunday, I knew this is what He has in mind, I would have never said yes.
As I struggled with that the following days, weeks and months time and time again, He confirmed that it wasn’t my imagination, nor vanity, or pure insanity; He kept telling me through the Word, Dr. Ralph's teachings, that He really called.
I had said yes to God; therefore, I will go all the way with Him.
COME WHAT MAY
Today the Lord put a path before me to chose. I chose to go down that way. Like someone said I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds my tomorrow.
Also, like Dr. Ralph said, when He received the Call to start TLC: “If I perish, I will perish”; but, no turning back.
I might perish, but all I know is: God is bound by His Word. All that God said, is saying and will say, He will accomplish them. The Word of God says: “Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please… What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do” (Isaiah 49:9-11 NIV).
I might perish, but all I know is: “God never invests in a flop”, “I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in me will continue to perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus, until the time of His return” (Philippians 1:6 AMP).
I might perish, but if I perish - and I know I won’t - I will perish as a herald, a pathfinder… or as “the voice of one who cried in the wilderness to make the way” for others to take the center stage, to arise to the top and lead from there, with God’s heart; until Canada is being made great again.
The journey ahead is a journey of blind faith in the God who called me; the God of the impossible, the “God who chose the foolish things to confound the wise”.
I am God’s beloved and I was born for such a time as this. By faith, I will follow God’s leading; until all that is in His heart concerning me is revealed, until I do and become all He wants until He “makes me an eternal excellence; a joy of all generations” (Isaiah 60:15 NIV). In 2014 Dr. Ralph Dartey texted me that Scripture in the response to a question I sent him. Since I hold on to it and prayed it over and over. Our faithful God will make a way where there is no way and fulfill that Scripture in my life.
With faith, in the One who called me, I decree and declare that it will be of me what “eye has not seen, and ear has not heard” (1 Corinthians 2:9); because, what I am called to do, will “not be done by my might, nor by my power; but by the Spirit of the Living God” (Zechariah 4:6).
I went through an unusual path; but, I believe in God’s Sovereignty. I believe that God allowed me to go through all theses roller-coaster routes and through what seemed to be instability and confusion for a purpose way greater than I can ever think of. In retrospective, I realize that all that I listed above were permitted by heaven for purpose. Everything! My studies, every position I occupied, every business I invested myself in, every onslaught, every struggle, every lie, every rejection, every failure, every disappointment, … every victory, everything I learned through the teachings and the lives of people he sent to me as a gift; they were all to prepare me for my tomorrow. I can see all the lacks, the limps, the scars, the still bad credit, no money; but His grace is sufficient, His resources unlimited. If this is from God: HE WILL PROVIDE!
In this journey, I have enjoyed great privileges due to my jobs; I also, went through very humbling time while sojourning in the pit of scarcity. Through it all, my anchors were God, my Church, my Bible, God’s promises.
In this journey, I have witnessed great acts of kindness and generosity; and I have encountered unspeakable wickedness. I’ve encountered greatness, strength, and bravura; especially from the Pastors, the military men and women, the doctors, the cancer patient… I even see greatness in the homeless, the despaired souls… No matter how gloomy their tomorrow looked like, they kept waking-up every day, hanging on to life. (Because the line between life and death-afterlife is so thin, they could have chosen the easy way out; but they didn’t. For me, it is a sign of greatness covered under rubble; for me, they are a certain type of hero). I have also encountered fragility and strength in vulnerability: Sick children, terminally sick patients, abandoned and lonely elderly… I have seen beauty and treasures buried covered with ashes or dressed with rags as well as beauty and treasures covered with richness and stored preciously in the palaces. I am grateful to God who gave me a heart and eye to see beyond and find treasures and beauty in unspeakable places and situations. I celebrate and thank God for everyone I met. You enriched my life and the encounter with you prepared me for what is ahead of me.
During those past years, I’ve learned about people. Most importantly, I’ve learned more about God than I ever did. I met a side of God that I never experienced. I met His deeper than deep love, His providence, His grace, His mercy, and patience… The God I’ve been told about in catechism and growing up is not the God I’ve discovered. Not at all… I especially discovered His Amazing Love and Goodness for the good people and the not so good people.
I plead allegiance to this God, the God of the Bible, the God of my spiritual parents: Dr. Ralph and Pastor Regina Dartey. I will serve this God, my God with everything I am and have, with every fiber of my being; and this, till my last breath.
To ELOHIM alone is and will be all the Glory; for Who He is and all He will do for me, through me, by me; and through the Kingdom Political Party of Canada!